Sanibona, I never thought that I would say that losing iNyanga yami would be harder for me in my life, than losing my mother. But it is. The relationship we had was deeper than mother to daughter because in a lot of ways, the experience of ukuthwasa was more personal, spiritual and life changing than anything that I can consciously remember experiencing with any other human being.
The 2 women, and in particular uGogo wasedlozini (being umaMakhathini and gogo maNdlovu) facilitated a whole new world for me which has become the centre of who I believe myself to be. Both of them are late and it's a space that I have yet to fill, indeed I'm not sure it would be filled.
The 2 families, have become my family beyond ukuthwasa, as it should rightfully be. If I had difficult cases, or even humorous experiences, uGogo was the person I could talk to for advice, guidance and indeed the counselling that I mentioned earlier. Being far apart, we spent a lot of time talking on the phone (thank goodness for cell phone reception which reaches the remotest part of our country!). I remember one of my first amathwasa when I was still inexperienced. She was particularly unwilling to accept this gift and really did not want it despite acknowledging its very real existence and manifestation. (anyway an explanation of this is a whole lecture on its own which I shall leave for another day!). Back to my story, in her refusal to ukugidha, I continued beating the drums. Suddenly, iDlozi lakhe spoke and took off all her clothes leaving her stark naked!!! I was in a panic! I'm newly married to someone who was very supportive but not familiar with the strangeness of idlozi and here was this woman, about our parent's age, stark naked in the yard and speaking in another voice!! I was overwhelmed to say the least!!!
Fortunately for me, I had that calm, experienced presence of uGogo, calming me down and guiding me and as always, reminding me that I can handle this as it is my destiny as well. I'm not sure where I would be without her support and encouragement. She has been very correct in teaching me that everything has something in it for you. Everything. Otherwise, it would not be happening to you.
I see that I miss her counselling and therapy because I now find I take more time off from ukwelapha because I get tired. I go home. I behave like a new iThwasa and you know what, it heals me and strengthens me to rewalk that very difficult walk of an iThwasa.
So, back to my question, how do you as an iNyanga to others, heal yourself? Philani. Makhosi Derby kaGcabashe